Dealing with Family Conflict
Because I receive so many e-mails dealing with family conflict, I am offering my opinion on the matter.
This is an extremely emotional time for all of the family members and people's feelings can become dangerously intense. Brain injury can bring out the best in families, but can also bring out the worst. My family went through unbelievable stress and conflict over the care of my mother and the bitter fighting almost destroyed us all. Luckily, we overcame our differences after her recovery.
For the loved ones who are not power of attorney to the survivor my advice is this:
Try to realize that the one who is power of attorney has the ultimate word about the survivor's care. If you do not agree with them, please try not to let your frustrations get out of control and try to reason sensibly with the family member who is in charge.
If that doesn't work, the only alternative is to try to quietly do the best you can for the survivor in the time alotted for you to be with the survivor. In most cases, you all want the same outcome for the survivor, so try to act like one team, even if it is difficult.
For the loved one who is power of attorney to the survivor my advice is this:
Try to remember that other people in the family love the survivor as much as you, and that they also might have a good suggestion for him or her. Try not to be in control merely for the sake of being in control. What happened to the survivor has already happened, and your control of it now will never take that incident away. Please try to work as a team with the other family members and loved ones. In most cases, you all want the survivor to progress even though you may all see it differently.
For both sides of the struggle:
What you are all going through happens frequently. Know that you are not alone and try to find some local support to help you cope. I hope that you can resolve your differences for your sake and for the sake of the survivor, but if you can't, you must endure without letting the conflict get too severe. Please visit my helpful and informative links page for support sites that might help you.
